Conference reflection

I'm currently attending a work conference. Actually today was the final day and a final day it was. 

It started with a keynote speech from Rachael Robertson. Rachael led a 100+ team to the Antarctic and hence her talk was about not only her journey but on leadership. Yes she was an excellent speaker. Yes she was a very engaging speaker. Yes her personal story about going to Antarctic was amazing. But what resonated with me most was her discussion of the group dynamic problems that arise in the workplace and the leadership skills she deploys to deal with them. I was so engaged, the first thing I did in the lunch break was to order a copy of her book. 

The second amazing keynote was at the end of the day and was delivered by Darren Flanagan and Todd Russell. Now Todd Russell you have probably heard of. He was one of the miners trapped in the Beaconsfield Mine disaster. Darren Flanagan may not be as familiar but he was the explosives expert they brought in to get them out. Darren's presentation was amazing.  Such a storyteller he took you on a journey and bared all his own emotions. There was not a dry eye is the auditorium. 

Both presentations were about courage. Both moved me immensely. Is that because I lack courage?

Since when is it ok NOT to work

Since when is it ok to NOT actually work while at work?
Since when is it NOT ok to tell people to GET BACK to work?

I supervise 9 staff. They all have their strengths and they all have their weaknesses....as do I. Admittedly some have more weaknesses than they do strengths but as one colleague always says "it's a rich tapestry".

My office is the second down the corridor from the main reception. Admittedly the walls are paper-thin....and I have excellent hearing....so I hear EVERYTHING that is going on within a 6 office radius.

So last week I could hear a conversation going on in reception between one of my staff members....actually the receptionist....and another staff member (whom I don't supervise). I don't recall exactly what the conversation was about but it sure wasn't about work! there was A LOT of giggling and boisterous laughter....and it continued for some time....probably at least 20 minutes.

Now I'm not the Office Grinch...no, really, I'm not! I don't mind a bit of banter between colleagues. I'm guilty of partaking myself. But when it continues for a long time, it needs to be monitored. And when the people involved are notorious for 1. not getting much done in the day and 2. having to be told at least 4 times to do a basic task....then the banter needs closer monitoring as it actually does interfere with work productivity.

So this day...after about 20 minutes of this going on....I wandered out to reception and said to them both "it doesn't sound like much work is going on out hear"....there was more giggle and some lame arse remark to which I probably then said something along the lines of "well how about we all get back to work then?" To which they did.

So imagine my surprise when my boss tells me that a staff member has called HR crying to complain that I've told her to get back to work! SERIOUSLY!!!!

There are a number of wrongs in all of this:
1. Since when is it ok for a staff member to go directly to HR rather than going to the "offending" staff member's supervisor (i.e. my boss) - my preference is that if you are offended by something someone has said or done then you actually talk one on one with them to clear the air - geez to me that is the mature adult way to deal with things!
2. Since when do these people actually think it is ok to stand around for half an hour or so actually not doing any productive work?
3. Since when is it NOT ok for a supervisor to disapprove of behaviour in the workforce and actually call people on it by saying "hey how about you get back to work"?

This is actually the second time I have had to tell these two to get back to work....somehow I don't think I'm the problem here!

crushes

why is it ok that when you are 12 years old...or even 15 years old....it's ok to have posters on your bedroom wall of the people you couldn't bare to spend the rest of your life without? when i was somewhere between the ages of 12 to 15 my bedroom wall was covered in posters of Michael Jackson.

(yes this is an actual photo of my bedroom. i have concealed my friend's face to save her embarrassment)
my friends had posters of Duran Duran...yes i was the odd one. one of my friends had, honestly, her whole bedroom, floor to ceiling and cross the ceiling, covered in posters of Duran Duran and in particular Nick Rhodes. you could not see a single skerrick of paint on the walls or ceiling for the posters.
but eventually we grow out of it, right? sooner or later "things" change and the posters come down off the walls. why? is it that our affections shift from celebrity crushes to our first boyfriend?...and that would be awkward having posters of Nick Rhodes, or worse, Michael Jackson, looking at you while you are making out with John Smith, the blue eyed, blonde haired captain of the basketball team, in your bedroom....ok I made all that up. I never made out with the captain of the basketball team when i was a teen....sigh.
so this is where it gets slightly embarrassing. perhaps slightly is an understatement! i didn't stop having celebrity crushes as aged 15. in fact i still have them today and if i could put posters on my wall, i would. i even have this little book...a diary of sorts where when i was OLDER than 15...i think it was more about the time i was coming out to myself so i would have been in my late 20s...i wrote down a list of my crushes. the list was completely celebrity focused and of course was a list of ALL women. i don't have time now to find the book and read out the names but i'm pretty sure the list included people such as Jennifer Keyte.
so why am i writing about this now when i really should be writing my Business Law assignment? well i have a confession....and it's borne from spending way too much time on my own....i have a new celebrity crush...yeah, so what? well this one not only somewhat surprised me, but the surprise really came from my intense reaction to it....hold that thought.
so given i have been a virtual bachelor for the past year....a deliberate overstatement....i have once again superficially immersed myself in the tv show The L Word. i say "superficially" because, having watched all 6 seasons numerous times, i am now only watching the story-lines i actually enjoy i.e. the story-lines involving Bette and Tina. so having reviewed the scenes again...and i don't know whether it's my own maturity yudda yudda yudda...but i'm attracted for the first time to TINA. previously it was BETTE BETTE BETTE...BETTE ALL THE WAY! not withstanding this i still do L.O.V.E BETTE! to the point where i love to hear Bette say the name Tina or when she calls her "T"...which gets a little strange given i have a friend at work named Tina but thankfully she DOES NOT make it to my "crush" list!
anyway, tonight i found myself googling Laurel Holloman, the actress who plays Tina...i don't want to know details...i just wanted to look at pictures!..such as these....

and when i found these pictures...unsuspend the "intense reaction" comment....i found myself having a physical reaction...my eyes welled with tears...oh my god she is gorgeous! yes, i am slightly depressed at the moment....hence the overly emotional reaction.
but another thing that surprised me when i was re-watching B&T scenes...a scene i had forgotten about was the love scene between B&T when T is pregnant. she's like 8 months pregnant! i was surprised how "hot" this scene was. i had never looked at pregnant women in that light before. so here i lay bare my embarrassing celebrity crush...and all i can ask is that when you judge me, be kind.
on another note....i also L.O.V.E. Kate Winslet....in a strange way....that's for another blog post.

Credit card

So last weekend I revealed that I was FINALLY applying for a credit card. Yes I have managed to survive 42 years without one! Crazy, I know! Let me just give you the detail – I was simply asking for a credit card with a $3,000 limit…I didn’t need much…just “contingency…in case of emergency” money. And why would I need this after 42 years? Well I am going to my first work conference….my first interstate trip on my LONESOME! So I figured a woman in her mid-life should have some security when travelling ALONE…even though flights, accommodation for 7 nights, breakfasts and 3 dinners will be pre-paid. Besides I have heard countless stories of people arriving at their accommodation, which is supposedly been paid for by their employer, only to find that IT HASN’T been and they have had to pay for the accommodation themselves, with their personal CREDIT CARD until they can get it sorted. NO WAY was I going to go all the way to Tasmania without a contingency plan….that’s a long way…it’s over-seas! Anyway, imagine my SURPRISE when I get an email response back from my bank…the same institution I have banked with for at least the past 10 years and have had 2 mortgages with, without any default or late payments on those mortgages….DECLINING my application! YES you read correctly – DECLINE. With a friendly suggestion that if I wanted to re-submit the application under JOINT names (whoever that may be), my application would be reconsidered. I was INSULTED! Well unfortunately I don’t want a JOINT credit card. I’m 42 YEARS OLD. I receive a $85k+ annual salary from my continuing position – not contract…not fixed term…CONTINUING! I have no dependants (other than my fur-kids). I have no car loan (that they know of). They can see the transactions in my account so I know they know I am paying bills from that account…there is money coming in and money going out….But oh yes I have MORTGAGE! Admittedly it is with another bank. but it is sooo unfortunate that the application form doesn’t ask for YOUR CONTRIBUTION towards any such debt. Obviously my contribution is 50%. Instead the application is processed as if you are 100% responsible for the mortgage – which I know in real terms I am…but I’M NOT! So why should that matter anyway? We have a $600k MORTGAGE to a house valued at over $800K for which we are 2 payments ahead of schedule! Once again, evidence on our part of good financial management. So I decided to call the bank. ok I’m going to name and shame. HERITAGE BUIDLING SOCIETY. I’m sure it is not just me who thinks it is ludicrous that a 42 year old woman (I know I am labouring the age point) on a $85k annual salary, with an impeccable credit history, effectively cannot get a loan for $3,000! They TRIED to help…and I TRIED to be civil. But you know they are constrained by policy and automated computer programs that work this stuff out for them. So because it LOOKS LIKE the mortgage is more than 85% of my salary, I don’t fit within their credit card POLICY. I did feel for the young woman taking my call. You know she probably earns half of what I earn and she probably has a credit card or two…so she probably can’t relate. But when I gave her the scenario that I could walk into any bank today, open a savings account with a deposit of $500 (which I have just withdrawn from my HERITAGE BUILDING SOCIETY ACCOUNT) and would be offered a credit card with a $5k limit…and in 6 months’ time probably be inundated with letters asking me if I wanted to UP that limit to $10k or $15k or even $25k…well she said, yes I could probably do that. So when I gave her the scenario of what if I was in an abusive relationship? What if I was trying to escape that relationship and my only hope to get away and on my own feet was with a $3,000 credit limit. Obviously I can’t ask my physically abusive partner to jointly sign with me because then my plan to escape under the cloak of darkness would be foiled. And didn’t she know that the number one obstacle for women leaving abusive relationships is economic dependence??!! Well she then decided perhaps her supervisor should get involved. Seriously do these people have absolutely NO REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE? Oh that’s right. They rely on computer programs to give them the answers to people problems! So I spoke with the supervisor…who again was pleasant and I tried my darndest to be pleasant in return. His suggestion was for me to email him a copy of my mortgage statement and get a LETTER from my partner effectively saying I was capable of paying off my credit card debt! This is my first trip interstate ON MY OWN. I don’t do much ON MY OWN. I just want a friggin credit card in MY OWN NAME so I can start doing things ON MY OWN. So I am NOT DEPENDENT on someone else! I admit. I did think about it....The whole supplying of extra evidence just so I could get my own credit card. But then I thought “fuck it!”. So I opened up the St George website, who we have our mortgage with. And then I realised they application would probably ask me for my member number. I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what that is. So I opened up the ANZ website (I have NEVER banked with ANZ - but you know, a bank is bank these days), found their credit card application site and applied on-line. The question they asked, the point of difference with HERITAGE BUILDING SOCIETY, was “what is your CONTRIBUTION to your mortgage”…easy – 50% of the monthly repayment. WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAM credit card application APPROVED immediately. Unfortunately for $6,000 (the lowest limit available) rather than $3,000 which is all I needed. The final step in the process….email those idiots at HERITAGE BUILDING SOCIETY and say THANKS but no thanks. I have been approved a credit card in less time I was on the phone to you and I will be making arrangements to close both of our HERITGE BUILDING SOCIETY accounts.

if I was rich - what car would I drive?

if I was rich....like if i won lotto or something. i wouldn't spend the money of classy cars. no! i am a bit of a bogan rev-head at heart. i would spend then money on some classics. like these for example.

now this car, a Mustang Cobra, was driving by Chris - Farrah Fawcett's character in Charlie's Angels. or this one.

this is a Ford Pinto - as driven by Sabrina in Charlie's Angels. but apparently it's known to be a bit of a dog/lemon. i would also add one of these to my collection

now this is a Datsun 280Z as driven by the Bionic Woman. so it would seem that my fetish in cars is heavily influenced by my television viewing from my childhood. but i'm not rich...and i will never win lotto....because i don't ever buy a ticket. so i guess i'll have to settle for what i currently drive.

MY TIME

one year ago when i got my current job...which is a continuing position....which i haven't had for gee at least 5 years....Kim says to me "it's time to focus on your career". this was in response to me supporting her for the previous 6 years in her very demanding job and now she was in a less demanding job so it was MY TIME....supposedly she was happy to take the 'back seat' and play the supportive wife to my ambitions. so imagine my SURPRISE when she announces to me today that she is thinking of putting in an application for a job in New Zealand!...what happened to it being MY TIME? apparently she's been asked by a recruitment agent to 'put her hat in the ring' for this role....which is similar to what she is currently doing but it's a national level job. other than the fact that over the past year since Kim's dad died we have been talking about living closer to our parents so we can enjoy quality time with them in their elder years but what about it being MY TIME to focus on MY CAREER?? and you know i'm all for a shake up in our lives....i've made it quite clear that i'm itching to run away....throw caution to the wind and take 3 months off work and road-trip across the USA....that is a little different to quitting my job altogether and moving across the ditch! of course all this gets thrown back at me..."i thought you were looking for a change?"..."NZ is only 3 hours away, it's not that far to come back and visit our aging parents....and they would want us to be living our lives"..."there are universities in NZ"....yudda yudda yudda...but all i can hear in my head is "I THOUGHT IT WAS MY TIME TO FOCUS ON MY CAREER!!" in the end i just said "well i've never been to New Zealand so i can't say whether or not i like it" and as every supportive partner says "if it's really something you're interested in, i guess you have to at least put an application in". no use worrying about something that hasn't happened yet!

Just your common perv

So the other night I had a dream about someone at work...not a colleague or someone I actually work with. i'm not going to go into the details of the dream but it was one of those dreams that stay with you the next day...for whatever reason...it was pretty timid so you can get your mind out of the gutter right now! before the dream i had never seen this girl in that light so i was a bit perplexed why i would 1. dream of HER (because I haven't actually had much to do with her) and 2. have that sort of dream about her. but it did put her in a new light so for the past 2 days I've found myself looking out for her...not looking FOR her like all stalking the hallways, but just seeing if she's about....I'm not sure what i expected to find. anyway, late today on my way back to my office after a 2 hour lunch break, i walked past the meeting room and she was in there in a group meeting. i made a face at the chairperson...who poked her tongue back at me....and kept on with my business. i then went to our regular friday afternoon work drinks and unbeknownst to me at first, she was there...sitting across the room from me. she was wearing a lovely blue dress and if any other girl had her puppies out like she did, i would have been saying 'put those things away'..but on this occasion, i didn't think that. i actually thought how CUTE she looked and why hadn't i noticed that before?! (but obviously I did, hence the dream) anyway, at the end of drinks i went back to my office to shut down my computer etc. i started walking to my car...via the internal stairs, which i never do...and as i got to the lower level of the building, i ran into her also leaving the building....so we walked together towards the bus stop and my car. we chatted about what we were doing on the weekend...where she lived...how she was getting home....all those professional stalker questions! and then she dropped the BF-bomb. of course she would have a boyfriend. what did i expect??!!! AND she's probably 20 years younger than me. i felt like such a common perv and pedo!!!