here we go again

Well well well...look what I've found. i've resurrected my very old blog. it's been, what, 3 years! way too long. i enjoyed reading the post about turning 39. now i'm almost 43 and i have to say, nothing has changed. yes i celebrated my 40th like there was no tomorrow but the endless feeling of emptiness...of "there must be more to life" continues. the need to push boundaries. to experience LIFE is ever present. but where to start, what to do, eludes me. I said to K recently that i just want to get away from it ALL. how about we drop everything and go to the US for 2 months. road-trip across the great U.S.A with not a care in the world. no itinerary. just the two of us exploring that great country. it sounded romantic to me. but after considering if for some weeks, romantic is not what she thought of the idea. So here i am still. questioning my existence. reflecting on my 43 years. scary. like a hamster on a wheel i continue to go round and round. and round and round. actually it's more like back and forth. back and forth from home to work. and back again. each day.